He doesn't give a damn
by Nano.yaoi
Summary: You have a secret you're keeping from the other members of the party. When you stop your journey for the night, you slip away while the dwarves are asleep. Or are they all? Written by the readers view so that you're your own character!


This oneshot was inspired by a prompt on Tumblr blog called imaginexhobbit

No warnings needed and there're no pairings either.

Female readers view (I'm so weirded out by the fact that it actually matters but it does, this is also my first time writing with a main female character.)

Please leave a comment after reading!

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After a long and exhausting day, you wanted nothing more than to, when the dwarves of the company were all snoring in sleep, slip away for a bath.

Thorin had stalled the pack to stay the night in an empty cave. After eating and sharing stories by the campfire, the men began to prepare for sleep. One by one they took their places on the hard and dirty floor of the cave. You were the last one to stay up, but unlike you told Balin, who told you to get some rest too, you weren't about to put to sleep. The case was, travelling with a pack of dwarves, well, one can only imagine the time they spend on thinking about the hygiene. Let alone bathing and such. But while you had been riding your horses earlier today, you had passed by a lake, hidden in the peace of surrounding trees. The cave was not located far from it, so you didn't even need to take your horse when you slyly headed your steps towards the lake.

You walked through a mellow flower field, the nice warm wind blowing on your back. You felt like it was pushing you towards the waited change to get rid of all that dirt covering your skin and it made you smile. Picking up your pace you jogged to the lake. Stopping by the last tree parting you from the water, you gently rest your hand on it and took a moment to breath. God it was lovely. All that stress and fear, all forgotten for a short moment. The moon was beautiful that night as it lighted up your nightly adventure. You had to hide your true curves, such a silly thing really. But none of the dwarves, you thought to yourself, could ever take you seriously if they knew the truth. The fact that you were not a man, nor a son of your father, but a woman, a daughter. You'd had to hide your true gender to be taken seriously as a member of the pack. But now was the time to leave all that behind, because for a second, you allowed yourself to let go.

You opened the strings of your gear, pulled them over your head, let them fell to your ankles, leaving you naked. Taking a glance at your surroundings, and finding it still peaceful and safe, you head your steps, again, towards the waterline. The water felt so fresh, so cold, on your toes. You kept walking further, up until the surface was just about to reach above your thigh gap. You had to force yourself take the next step, after all, the water was nothing but warm and you remembered well the times when cold water had came in touch with your sex. Grimacing at the familiar feeling, you tried to think why you had come here in the first place. Closing your eyes, you kneeled down and water swallowed you whole.

Gasping for air you rose from the depth and heard a deep voice clear their throat behind you at the beach. "I gotta say, if you and I both declare to be called men, I have a completely wrong idea what is the difference between men and women." You turn around, taking a quick breath as your body responds to the revelation in shakes all over you body, and cover you breast by crossing your arms around you. Thorin kept his eyes fixed on you as he walked a bit closer, a few inches further and his shoes would've gotten wet. "Those look like breasts to me."

You swallow slowly. The panic your feeling is evident on your face. "Thorin I-"

"Can explain? I'm sure." You kneel your body so that only your head stays above the surface, the rest of your body hidden from the look of your serious leader. "How you've had a blast fooling us all? Taking us for fools-"

"No!" You cut him short. "It's not like that, Thorin, you must believe me!" You are red from embarrassment, from head to toe, but you stand up and look at him straight in the eye. "I had to. I needed you to take me with you. This task is as important to me as it is to all of you, damn me for being born as a female but I'm a great warrior! You know this, Thorin!" The water is touching your navel as you plead your king for forgives of your fraud. You now notice how you'd waved your hands in frustration while speaking up and quickly re-cover yourself.

Thorin hasn't budged from his position. He looks at your direction, but you think you saw his eyes wonder your moon light naked body up and down. It was hard for you to tell from this distance though, after all, you preferred close combat for a reason.

"And you're telling me," Thorin said after only staring at you in the silence for, what felt like over several minutes, "you felt like it was necessary to hide your character in hope to avoid prejudice," he took another pause. Keeping his eyes still on you, he took steps to his left, the shape of coast affecting him to be closer to you, without him still touching the water. "From men of this particular group? Or is this something you've always done? Fool those around you, trusting their lives on your hands, thinking of you as one of them?"

"Thorin please-"

"Save it. I don't give a damn of your sex, can't you see that this is ridiculous?! We have not stopped for three days for a longer period, this might be your only change to get a good night sleep, possibly in who knows how long time, and you spend it on fooling around in the water?!" Thorin yells this to you with a tone he had yelled at you times and times before. He is talking to you like times before this, before he knew the real you. He is thinking of your wellbeing, and this confuses you.

"I, Thorin, I don't understand. Are you not mad at me?"

You shiver, the cold water is really starting to make you uncomfortable and you tighten your grip on your arms around you. Thorin notices your discomfort, and turns his back to you. "Stop standing there and get your damned body covered! The last thing we need is you falling ill, we need the strength of every men. Or, women. Look, son, I'm not mad at you. I admit," Thorin glances at you but when he sees your naked butt only about to be covered by a cloth, he turns his head away, now a new small hint of colour on his face.

"I admit that I might have not allowed you to join us when we started our journey, but we've experienced a lot together." You tug the oversized shirt over your heard and hear a small chuckle live your king's mouth. "And like you said lass, you've proved yourself to be a reliable swords man, I'll be counting on you in future too." He turns to face you and there're only few meters between you and him. You swallow the gulp in your throat and stutter, "I-I will b-be more thoughtful from no-now on!" an evident blush still covering your features.

"Yes yes, now get to the others! We can't stay here for long anyways. And dry your hair properly for gods sake!" You look at him amazed and let out a little laugh.

"…What?" Thorin asks obviously a little uncomfortable with the situation as you two began your walk back.

"Nothing," you smile and try to rub your hair a bit with your sleeves. "Will I have to tell the others?" You ask when you two are almost at the camp.

Thorin stops on his tracks and gives you a look. "When you're ready, I think you should. Have a little more faith in us, will you?" He pats your shoulder and walks pass you. "Good night, lass."

"Y-yes, good night."

You watch his back for a second and then follow him in, settling for a sleep, a little cold from the swim but with a smiley on your face. It felt like a huge rock had been lifted off your heart.


End file.
